I had some concerns about my pregnancy from the beginning. I just never felt pregnant. I kept thinking maybe I was just really lucky this time around. But my concern turned to fear last week when I started bleeding. I immediately asked Eric for a blessing and when he couldn't promise me that the baby would be fine, I got really scared. Then I got mad at him for not promising me what I wanted to hear. (Sorry Eric) There was nothing I could do but wait and see. So that is what I did. I sat around all week, feeling sad and depressed. My hormones/emotions were out of control and I sobbed and cried about every second of the day. So, I just laid on the couch and turned to my good friends
Bella and Edward for comfort. (Okay, Jacob was there too, but he's not my friend.) It was a good distraction. By Friday I had miscarried. I kept thinking I was feeling okay about it, but my hormones would not agree. They were completely out of control. My kids were worried. I explained to them what happened and they all drew pictures of me holding a baby, saying "This is so you won't ever forget the baby, mom." Which made me cry more.
It's weird. You go one minute thinking about baby names, about the changes it will have on your family and body, being excited to announce the news and loving that baby from the second you know it's growing inside you... to not being pregnant at all.
I am feeling much better now though and even though I still have doctor visits ahead, I feel like I am putting it behind me. I feel so grateful that I have Eric, family and so many good friends to lean on.
I ended the week with my birthday on Sunday. Eric got me a cake and we had a little party with the kids- and it was just what I needed.
17 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear that, Katie. I had a miscarriage in between my first two and it a lot harder on me than I had thought it would be. I'll be thinking of you and you'll be in my prayers. I'm glad you have such a wonderful family to help you.
Ah Katie! I'm so sorry! I've never experienced a miscarriage and can't imagine what it feels like. My heart goes out to you.
What a sweet family you have! And Happy (late) Birthday!!
((((hugs))))
I never experience a miscarriage, but knowing how hard it is to get pregnant, my heart goes out to you. I am glad you are doing better. I am glad your family was there to help you and cheer you up.
Oh, you sweetheart. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I think that's so sweet of your kids to try to make you feel better about it.
I love you Katie! You are awesome! Glad you had such a good birthday!
i love you.
and you're beautiful.
and you're amazing.
happy birthday!!!!
i'll stop by sometime this week.
i'll text you.
love
kels.
I am so sorry Katie. I hope you continue to feel better. Wish I could give you a great big hug! Take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you- Alisa
PS Happy Belated Birthday!
O Man! I am so sorry Katie. You are such an amazing mom. You will be blessed with another little spirit soon.
I am glad you had a good birhtday.
I'm sorry to hear that. It's so sweet that your kids were so concerned. Hope it happens again soon, and that it goes ok. Good luck!
Sorry about your loss! I had one between my 3rd and 4th also. You look beautiful though!! Happy late birthday.
Hi Katie. I am a total stranger who has come from Jeni's blog. I clicked on your picture, read about your miscarriage and wanted to say how sorry I am for that. I've never had to go through that, but I have endured loss, so I know what it feels like to grieve. I'm so glad you have so much support around you. Good luck to you.
Katie I am so sorry! What a sweet family you have to rally around you! I'm glad you are feeling better, I'll keep you in my prayers!
I am just still so sad and sorry Katie! How sweet of your kids. I am glad you are starting to feel a little better. I am sorry you had to go through it at all. I love you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Katie - I can only imagine how difficult the experience must have been. I'm glad to know that you are feeling better and that you had a good birthday. Wish you were closer so I could give you a big hug and sing to you :) *LOVE* you!!
I am so sorry to hear all that you have been through. I have thought about you a lot lately and hope you are doing well. Sure love you Katie!! Did you know that Whitney had her baby on your birthday? She thought that was pretty neat!! My kids all love you so much too!!
Katie, I don't know if you remember me..I'm Emily's Friend & Wendy's niece. I'm sorry about your miscarriage. I'm glad to see such a great smile on your face for your birthday though. I hope you recover well. I love the post about your daughter Liberty's birthday & the birthday DVD. & I love the doll cake! Was it hard to do?
Post a Comment