Miscarriage

I had some concerns about my pregnancy from the beginning. I just never felt pregnant. I kept thinking maybe I was just really lucky this time around. But my concern turned to fear last week when I started bleeding. I immediately asked Eric for a blessing and when he couldn't promise me that the baby would be fine, I got really scared. Then I got mad at him for not promising me what I wanted to hear. (Sorry Eric) There was nothing I could do but wait and see. So that is what I did. I sat around all week, feeling sad and depressed. My hormones/emotions were out of control and I sobbed and cried about every second of the day. So, I just laid on the couch and turned to my good friends Bella and Edward for comfort. (Okay, Jacob was there too, but he's not my friend.) It was a good distraction. By Friday I had miscarried. I kept thinking I was feeling okay about it, but my hormones would not agree. They were completely out of control. My kids were worried. I explained to them what happened and they all drew pictures of me holding a baby, saying "This is so you won't ever forget the baby, mom." Which made me cry more.

It's weird. You go one minute thinking about baby names, about the changes it will have on your family and body, being excited to announce the news and loving that baby from the second you know it's growing inside you... to not being pregnant at all.

I am feeling much better now though and even though I still have doctor visits ahead, I feel like I am putting it behind me. I feel so grateful that I have Eric, family and so many good friends to lean on.

I ended the week with my birthday on Sunday. Eric got me a cake and we had a little party with the kids- and it was just what I needed.

4th of July at Grandma's Cabin

When Jack was given the assignment at the end of the school year to draw something he would do over the summer, I knew exactly what it would be a picture of. It was the same thing the kids had talked about for months. Go to the cabin.

My in-laws have a cabin in Happy Jack and the kids love to be there. I kept promising them we would go, "as soon as school gets out." So when we picked up Jack on his last day of school, the kids all screamed: "Now we are going to the cabin!!" They were very disappointed to learn that I didnt mean the second he was out of school. So, when Eric had Friday off for the 4th, we thought it would be the perfect weekend to go. And it was.

We drove up on Thursday and Grandma & Grandpa met us there that night. Day 1, was quite an adventure. Grandpa wanted to show us some indian ruins. He has some off road golf carts, called Rhinos, that the kids love so they were excited to go for a ride.

We strapped the kids in...

and we were off...

We made it to our destination only to learn that we had to hike up to the top of a little mountain to see the ruins. The girls were not happy about this. It was hot and the girls did not want to hike anywhere. So the girls had to stop lots of times and they whined the whole way.

But we did it and it was beautiful at the top (even though the kids asked when we were going to see some good stuff)

Other than the little bits of indian pottery the kids were finding, the girls were totally not interested. So we left the boys and hiked back down to the rhinos.

When the boys finally made it back down, Jack gave me some flowers and we drove off to find a place to picnic.

The drive back to the cabin began pretty calm...

However, all of the sudden it started to rain, and then pour. The pouring rain turned in to hail- almost as big as marbles. It was pounding on our heads and backs and it hurt. We jumped out of the rhinos and ran for cover. Grandma had a table cloth that we put over us,

But it was hailing so hard that it poked holes in the tablecloth. At this point, the kids were all crying and Jack suggested we say a prayer. Eric looked around for better shelter and found a metal stock tank we could hide behind, but we had to run through a muddy stream-almost up to our knees to get there. We made it to the tank, but we were all completely soaked and shivering cold. The path back to the cabin was so muddy, but we decided to give it a go. Once we made it back, cold and soaked, Jack said "I knew we would make it back. I knew I had enough faith!" It was definitely a memorable experience.

The rain cooled off the weekend and since the kids were to afraid to explore in the rhinos again, we spent most of the weekend hanging out at the cabin relaxing. It was great.

Happy Birthday Liberty!

Liberty's birthday began like every other birthday morning. We woke up to the kids excitedly screaming over all the decorations and balloons in the house then Liberty unwrapped her gifts from mom and dad. The kids favorite part is always their birthday DVD. I make a photo slideshow of all the pictures of them in the past year, add their favorite songs from the year and they watch it all day long. They love being honored this way and all the attention it gives them. I cant believe Liberty was born 4 years ago. Time flies! Here are some pictures of the morning.

I tried to talk Liberty into doing something fun with just the family, but all she wanted was friends to come over. Girl parties are so much easier than Jack's loud, crazy boy parties. The girls are so quiet and well behaved. Liberty wanted a princess party so all the girls wore their favorite princess dress and it was a lot of fun.

Thank you Grandma Farley for the new party dress.

Birthday cake

Happy Birthday Liberty!